Most people are wildly uncomfortable with grief. They don’t know what to say, so they reach for clichés, forced positivity, awkward advice, or stories that make themselves feel less helpless. It doesn’t always come from cruelty. A lot of the time, it comes from fear, discomfort, or simply not understanding what it feels like to lose your person.

And if we’re being honest? Before we became widows, some of us probably said dumb things too. Not because we didn’t care, but because we didn’t know. Grief is one of those experiences you don’t fully understand until it crashes into your own life. So when people say insensitive things, it can still hurt deeply, but sometimes remembering they simply don’t get it can soften the sting just a little.